You have all sent so many kind messages asking if I’m all right, I figure the least I can do is say something. For the past two months, I have been very, very depressed. I keep hoping it will break, and it hasn’t. I am talking to my doctor about adjusting my medication, but these things take time. My depression is treatment-resistant and I have struggled with it for over ten years. It never really goes away, but it is rarely as bad as this. We are having money problems, which is I think what has set this off. I am sorry I’ve been gone. I love running this blog, and I miss all of you. Boggle is the first thing I want to get back to when this weight lifts.
I guess this is sort of the trade-off you get for following a blog about mental illness from somebody who actually suffers from mental illness; I’m not always well enough to run the blog. I wish I could be more reliable for you all. I want to be there for you, and maybe make things feel a little bit brighter for you, even if things aren’t very bright for me right now.
I know, when I am doing better than this, that I believe in people, and life, and the chance of recovery, and—on my best days—even myself. And I know that depression is a state of delusion, so anything I think now that I don’t think when I’m feeling better is certainly untrue. But right now that is something I have to take on faith, and that faith is all I have. I am sorry I don’t have more to give you. I will be back the minute that I do.
I hope you’re taking care of yourselves out there.
Boggle gets it. Love and light with a side of I’m sorry, Boggle!